Monday, October 24, 2011

Mindset Monday 10/24/11- Your Harshest Critic, Your Best Friend- YOU

Your Harshest Critic, Your Best Friend- YOU

In another one of those strange ironies in life, your harshest critic and your best friend in this world needs to be the same person- you. If you want to be successful, you must be harder on yourself than any coach could possibly be. You need to be perfectionistic, strict, and brutally honest with yourself. You must know your weaknesses, downfalls, flaws, insecurities, and embarrassing idiosyncrasies better than anyone else. You need to know your defense mechanisms, your issues, and your go-to excuses. You must know when to call BS on yourself and your self-deceiving “rationalizations.”

Simultaneously, you must also be your own best friend. To be successful you must first unconditionally accept yourself. This is not to say that you will settle for less than your best. What it does mean is that no matter where you are at, whatever happens, you must love yourself. You need to forgive ALL of your short comings, errors, mistakes, and downfalls. Strive to improve, do not settle for less, but FORGIVE YOURSELF. You forgive yourself and other, for them, but also for yourself. When you forgive, you let things go. You let go of the weight you have been carrying. You make it easier for you to move. Even when other people come down hard on you, you must be able to let it go. if you don’t forgive your imperfections and mistakes, you will never have the strength to soar higher. You will be weighed down.

Many people are too self-conscious and unsure of themselves to be brutally honest with themselves. Almost all of us are guilty of this at times. Ignorance is bliss. We would rather preserve the illusion of things being good, as ourselves as superman. Other people are so hard and unyielding on themselves that even when they accomplish things, it is never good enough. They cannot tolerate any imperfection. They may ascend to great heights, but they are never happy. Quite the contrary, some are severely depressed.

Fanaticism is about having your cake and eating it to. We want to be highly successful and happy at the same time. After all, why do you strive for success, money, and glory? Probably because at some level you think it will bring you happiness or contentment.

It is interesting how highly successful people can balance critique and forgiveness. Forgiveness without critique breeds oblivious meandering. Critique without forgiveness may bring some success, but is a recipe for depression. Mastery follows those who have the self-control to be both.

Amateur golfers make a bad shot and then berate themselves to no end. They let the last shot affect the present shot, and thus are more likely to screw up again, as they often do. Professional golfers make a mistake, learn the lesson, forgive themselves, and hit the next shot with a clear mind. You cannot allow an opponent to beat you twice. Amateurs will, professionals won’t. Who are you trying to emulate?

Have the courage and self-discipline to be your own harshest critic and best friend. Get Fanatical!

Gene Zannetti
Owner of Z-Fanatical Fitness
Z-Personal Trainer, One-on-One Consultant & Motivational Speaker
(908) 337-6143

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